I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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