oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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