Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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