I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
