Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
