Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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