I've blown a few things in my day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
