Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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