brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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