he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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