now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
