I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
