Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Help. Why am I so naked?
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