i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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