you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
