you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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