i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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