You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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