Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
