i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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