Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
