So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need to calm my uterus...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
