Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
