you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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