Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
