i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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