Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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