He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
