Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
