her vagine was all disorganized.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
