I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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