Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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