I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
