I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Don't make out with my wife yet
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize