I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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