She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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