Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
