so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i believe in u and ur pee
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
