She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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