We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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