Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dignity is for republicans.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My ass is underappreciated
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
