Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
