Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
