I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
