he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
don't judge my taste in strippers
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
