Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
