Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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