I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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