Can Purell be used as lube?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
