we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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