it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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