I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
