? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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