I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
