this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
