My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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