I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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