tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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