At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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