We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
