she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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