Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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