i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
