Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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