It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Come see our sink grown plant.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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