FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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